“I give up easily! I’ll never make it in life.”
“I’m so stupid! How can I make such a small mistake?”
“I’m going to fail at this.”
Has your inner voice ever sounded like this? If so, know that you’re not alone in this struggle.
Many individuals are often hard on themselves for not being able to do or get things right. While it’s good to practice constructive self-criticism, a consistent pattern of negative self-criticism may not be considered as healthy.
It’s thought that this critical inner voice may be developed due to extreme stress. When met with extremely stressful conditions, our minds may engage in negative self-talk and it can materialise in the form of self-critiquing which can impact the way we work, how we talk and our participation in social circles.
Breaking the negative self-talk cycle is something that comes with consistency and a form of persistence. Experts believe when you mindfully engage in more positive self-talk, you can overturn the negative or critical thoughts. Telling yourself something as simple as “I can do this!” or “I am worthy, I matter,” can go a long way in cultivating some self-kindness and self-compassion.
In the spirit of loving yourself, here are three important reasons why you should practice some much-needed self-kindness.
- Helps with self-compassion Chris Germer, a US-based clinical psychologist and co-founder of the Mindful Self Compassion training programme believes that self-compassion is similar to the concept of yin and yang, and their qualities. One encompasses nurture (comforting, calming, reassuring) and its counterpart revolves around action (safeguarding, providing, encouraging). Being kind to ourselves opens up many ways to practice self-compassion.
- It helps you build emotional resilience When you practice self-compassion, you’ll be able to realise that your self-worth is not reliant on the number of successes or failures you’ve had. Being kinder to yourself also includes accepting the fact that you make mistakes and being okay with it.
- Helps you to identify sabotaging patterns When you accept yourself, flaws and all, you’ll be more conscious of your self-sabotaging tendencies. Awareness of these tendencies makes it easier for you to acknowledge them and helps you to make healthier choices.
