First and foremost, we are truly sorry for the loss that you’ve experienced. Many couples around the world have or are currently undergoing a similar situation as you are and truly, you are not alone.
Now, we’re not highlighting this topic to remind you of the painful experience because it is absolutely not your fault. Instead, we would like to inspire and encourage you to never give up. Though, the question is – how do you bounce back after such a painful experience? Many couples have successfully conceived after experiencing a miscarriage and sometimes, more than once and so it’s possible for you to conceive a healthy child too!
You will have many questions after this heartbreaking experience and here are the answers to some common questions that couples have after experiencing a miscarriage.
Q1: What could I have done differently?
Pregnancy loss is not anyone’s fault. A miscarriage usually happens because the foetus is not developing healthily and it is something that’s beyond our control. Though, there can be a few contributing factors such as poorly controlled diabetes or hormonal problems.
In most cases, the cause of a miscarriage is unknown. Though, if you have been diagnosed with a health condition such as diabetes or thyroid disease, do check in with your doctor to ensure that the medical condition is well under control before trying again.
Q2: Will I be able to identify the cause of why I miscarried?
In most cases, the cause of a miscarriage is unknown. Although, about 50 percent of miscarriages are believed to be linked to problems with the chromosomes of the foetus. There are some cases whereby your doctor will be able to identify the cause of an abnormal pregnancy that will affect the development of a foetus such as molar pregnancy and ectopic pregnancy.
Be it if the cause is identified or unknown, the good news is, there is still a chance for you to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy in the near future.
Q3: When can I try again?
You may have heard varying answers to this question. From bouncing back immediately to waiting for a few months. According to the Miscarriage Association in the United Kingdom, the key thing to take note of is that it’s best to avoid sexual intercourse until bleeding has stopped. This is advised to prevent the risk of an infection. Ultimately, the best time to try is when you and your partner feels physically and emotionally ready to embark on a new pregnancy journey.
Q4: When will I get my period again?
In most cases, you’ll get your first period after about a month or a month and a half after a miscarriage. If you’re wondering about ovulation, a woman can ovulate as soon as two weeks after a miscarriage. Though, even if your period has returned, it generally takes two months for your cycle to return to normal. This includes having normal hCG (pregnancy hormones) levels and a normal uterine lining that will be more receptive to receiving a new fertilised embryo.
Q5: How will my husband react during a miscarriage?
Men tend to react differently from women. At the beginning stage of a pregnancy, men may not feel the immediate emotional attachment as compared to a woman. Hence, your husband may feel less grief-stricken. Though his reaction could cause misunderstandings and conflicts as you see your partner reacting differently to the same situation.
Q6: Should we see a counselor before trying again?
Not every couple will need to see a counselor after a miscarriage as everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong when it comes to coping with this emotional rollercoaster. Though, if you’re finding it difficult to cope or if you feel like you’re drowning in sadness, seeking help from a professionally trained mental health expert will help you to cope with your emotions better.
Q7: Can I experience postpartum depression after a miscarriage?
A study conducted in the United States of America found that the emotional loss experienced during a miscarriage is similar to losing a child. A miscarriage can cause an emotional turmoil especially at the initial stage and this could bury you with deep sadness. Hence, it is possible that you may experience postpartum depression after a miscarriage.
Some of the symptoms to look out for include feeling empty, intense sadness, anger, jealous and easily irritable. It’s important for a partner to also be aware of these symptoms. Help is available to help you cope and for more severe cases, there are medications and effective therapies that can be considered.
There is no right or wrong way to react and feel about your miscarriage. Remember, you’re not alone and emotional support from your friends and family can play an important role too. There’s nothing to be embarrassed or shy about because a miscarriage is not your fault and most importantly, it is possible for you to become pregnant and have a healthy baby in your arms.