Discover the secret of communication in relationships

It won’t be wrong to say that most of us, if not all, have had trouble communicating with our partners. Plus, it is safe to say that all of us want to have a happy and healthy relationship. For that to happen, we will need to communicate and listen well.

You talk to your partner all the time, but how well do you communicate?

Apart from being an active listener, communication is another important aspect for a healthy relationship but why do many individuals experience communication issues in their relationships? A study on ‘The closeness-communication bias: Increased egocentrism among friends versus strangers’ in 2011 found that most married couples do not communicate with their partners any better than they do with someone they hardly know.

Some couples may be on the same wavelength, but at certain times, it wouldn’t be the same as having a difference in opinions is common. You or your partner can be distracted at times due to various reasons such as the surrounding or by your own thoughts. Therefore, stopping you from taking the other person’s perspective and understanding it. To put an end to these or at least avoid misleading conversations from occurring, we’ve decided to pitch in some help.

The next time you want to communicate with your partner and want them to listen, try the following tips.

#1 STOP PSEUDO-LISTENING

Pseudo-listening is a type of non-listening act that makes you look like you’re being attentive in the conversation, but in real, you’re only partially listening to the other person speak.

We have all caught ourselves or our partner in pseudo-listening and it simply leads to a whole new chapter of arguments and conflicts. People tend to have unique characteristics that can challenge our listening which is why pseudo- listening often occurs in most relationships.

We’re pretty sure you wouldn’t want the nagging to begin or to hear your partner constantly remind you of how you always do not pay any attention to them while they’re speaking.

So, if you want to improve your relationship, then learn to really listen. Start by asking if you really want to improve your listening skills, especially to someone you really care about? If you do then now’s the time to change.

If you’re listening, you then listen to:

• Learn.
• Understand.
• Able to encourage and solace.
• Enjoy or to be entertained.

# 2 YOU’RE BOTH RESPONSIBLE!

The guidelines for listening and communication do not just apply for men, but for women too. Good communication and listening skills are part of a successful relationship. With the combinations of these two skills, you and your partner can encourage each other to talk openly and honestly. Consequently, this will lead to a healthy relationship with rationality and problem-solving proficiency.

# 3 EDIT IT DOWN AND BE SPECIFIC

One of the many reasons a conversation turns upside down is usually when you use words that aren’t considered necessary but sometimes are used to imply your emotion and how you’re feeling at the moment.

What you’ll need to do is give yourself a minute or two before speaking and make sure to edit out all the unnecessary words you’ve been forming on the top of your head and be specific. Saying what you want works the best when you’re specific. For example, saying “Meet me at the restaurant at 8.30 p.m” sounds ways better than “You’re always late, can you at least be there by 8.30 p.m?”

# 4 ALWAYS HAVE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS

Again, we strongly believe that communication is the most important pillar in any relationship. If you and your partner have effective communication in your relationship, then kudos to you! You’ll both be able to get through difficult circumstances easily. Plus, this will ensure that there’s no room for misunderstandings or false accusations in your relationship.  This will result in less silly and unnecessary fights.

# 5 NEVER FIGHT TO WIN AN ARGUMENT

Last but not least, never ever listen to throw feedback or point errors and never communicate to win an argument. You should never fight to win an argument, plus there’s no doubt fighting is considered to be one of the biggest turn-offs to all the love and intimate feelings you have towards your partner.

# 6 PICK THE RIGHT TIME

Timing is the key to a fruitful conversation. More often than not, you might think and feel that you need to be heard the minute you have a thought or feeling. However, that shouldn’t always be the case, especially when your partner is wrapped up in something else at the moment such as:

• Resting
• Working
• In the middle of a meeting
• Just isn’t in the right mood at the moment

Based on your previous experience you’ve encountered, use it as a reference to tell you when is the right time to bring up a big topic or to have a conversation that’s really important to like financial status or something you’re mad about. The “big discussion” are seldom helpful right before bed, or the minute your partner reaches home or the office. So, avoid doing it and if ever you start talking and he or she isn’t paying attention, then simply ask “is there a better time to talk?” without using a sarcastic tone or being overly defensive. Instead, give your partner a reasonable alternative that will help the conversation go smoothly without any disagreements and quarrels.

Understanding your partner’s perspective is always a good start and will also help you to come to an unbiased solution that will benefit the both of you as well as heal and improve your relationship.

All relationships have their ups and downs, but a healthy communication listening style can make it a whole lot easier to confront conflicts and build a stronger partnership. In addition to this, you and your partner will respect each other and avoid doing things that will end in a brawl.

So, the next time you talk to your partner, use the tips we’ve shared with you.

Sources: WebMD, Better Health Channel, BoldSky